Perhaps even more unlikely than injuring yourself while playing Mahjong is the sliver of possibility that David Letterman will be leaving his new retirement life to become … wait for it … an investor relations professional. I can’t even imagine what the probability of something like that might look like as a percentage: .00000000000001%?
What is possible, however, is coming up with one of Letterman’s famed top-10 lists to define key concepts of IR, especially for management teams that are new to life at the helm of a publicly traded company. Following is our initial list, and we encourage you to add to it on Twitter at #LettermanDoesIR.
1. Under promise and over deliver
2. Treat your shareholders with dignity, even if they’re seething with disdain
3. Love (or at least do not fear) thy activist
4. Show investors, don’t tell
5. Strategize, execute, perform, communicate
Strategize, communicate, execute, communicate, perform, communicate
6. Transparency wins
7. The numbers will tell
8. Perform, not promote
9. Do not bury the lead
10. The story is the business, not the stock price
— Evan Pondel, firstname.lastname@example.org